Bases empty, two outs, a 3-1 game, #8 hitter up. Nothing comes down to this.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Offseason Check-in: Rod Barajas

In this feature, Bottom of the Fourth checks in with various MLB players to see what they're up to during the off-season. Today we spoke to Rod Barajas, a free agent at the moment.

BotF: So Rod, any news on teams interested in signing you?

Barajas: Nah, I let my agent handle all that stuff. I'm not too worried.

BotF: That's good to hear. So what are you doing to pass the time these days?

Barajas: My wife and I are trying to complete the Eternal Cycle, that which was foretold by Diego, El Dios de la Vida.

BotF: That sounds... creepy. I'm going to regret this, but can you be more specific?

Barajas: It was prophesized by Diego in the Time before Then that I, He Who Would One Day Become The Man About Which It Was To Have Been Prophesized (I'm sorry, it sounds better in Spanish) would bear seven children, and each would represent one of the ancient symbols of the Barajas.

BotF: Ohhhhhh, you're talking about the name thing! Your kids - Bryce, Andrew, Rod Jr., Aunalilia, Jace and Aubrielle - are each named after a letter of your last name, and you're just missing the S. So you and your wife are trying to have another baby? That's great, congratulations!

Barajas: Do not speak of the prophecy in such crass terms! The Ritual of the Life-Making is a sacred one that involves all members of the clan gathered around the clan's patriarch and matriarch, channeling each other's energies, in an effort to bring forth new life into the world!

BotF: So... you make your kids watch you and your wife have sex?

Barajas: (sigh) I could never explain it to one who is not of the Clan.

Bottom of the Fourth would like to thank Rod Barajas for his time.

No comments:

Post a Comment