When the Texas Rangers signed Adrian Beltre, Michael Young was pushed off his position for the third time in his Rangers career. Now, it appears that designated hitter is the only job with regular playing time available for Young, and given the infielder's ability to play every position around the horn, many are speculating about the prospect of Young being traded.
However, that may be more difficult than expected as a result of some bizarre stipulations in Young's contract that allow him to block trades to many teams, most notably those that play in 'shitty-ass dumps'.
Young's agent, Gordon Cheung, was reached for comment. "When Michael signed his contract extension, he wanted to make sure he didn't end up getting traded somewhere crappy like Pittsburgh or Oakland. Basically, if the Rangers approach us with a trade proposal, in order to gain the right to veto it, we have to be able to prove within 10% confidence intervals that the destination city qualifies as a 'shitty-ass dump'." Cheung elaborated, noting that several criteria contribute to the 'shitty-ass dump rating': 'shittiness', 'assicity', and "dumpiness".
Cheung would not go into specifics on which teams qualify, noting that it's a constantly-changing statistic. New York City, for example, has improved its 'assicity' considerably in recent years thanks to a special initiative led by mayor Michael Bloomberg, and though it used to be on Young's no-trade list, no longer makes the cut.
Not all cities have seen the same good fortune, though, as Jeff DeChambeau, an economist at Harvard University, explains. "One of the most devastating effects of the recession has been an extreme downturn in dumpiness levels in many urban areas," says DeChambeau. "Coupled with the ever-increasing migration to the suburbs, which are shitty by nature, these two effects combine to form an overall umbrella of assicity. It's a three-pronged attack that is on the verge of devastating several major cities."
Despite these clauses, though, it is believed that Young would approve trades to certain teams if they "really want" him. He elaborated, explaining that any team that "goes hard" and "pulls out all the stops" to "get a deal done" has his attention, and if they assure Young that "he's [their] guy", he'll make sure they're on the approved list.
Young's contract contains a number of other provisos enabling him to prevent trades to certain teams, including the ability to block trades to "teams with Dayton Moore as GM", "cities that end in 'inneapolis-St. Paul'", and "teams that are determined by an independent tribunal to 'suck' at a level up to and including 'a lot'".
Showing posts with label Rangers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rangers. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Don't Worry, C.J.!
C.J. Wilson is nervous. Because Cliff Lee just pitched game five against Tampa Bay to put the Rangers into the second round of the playoffs, the Rangers' ace isn't ready to start the next series. So game one duties fall to Wilson. Texas has faced the Yankees in four different playoff series in their history, and never won. And Wilson has the unenviable task of facing Yankees ace and Cy Young contender CC Sabathia. It shouldn't come as a surprise that C.J. Wilson is nervous.
But he doesn't need to be. As his lone playoff start showed, his teammates will pick him up when he opens the series on Friday night at home. Don't worry, C.J.!
Josh Hamilton has been saving the Rangers' pitchers all year with his bat and his defense, and that's why he's the frontrunner for the AL MVP award. But it hasn't just been Hamilton flashing the leather...
Even with superb defense, though, a pitcher still needs some run support every now and then...
Don't worry, Ceej. It'll all work out.
But he doesn't need to be. As his lone playoff start showed, his teammates will pick him up when he opens the series on Friday night at home. Don't worry, C.J.!
Josh Hamilton has been saving the Rangers' pitchers all year with his bat and his defense, and that's why he's the frontrunner for the AL MVP award. But it hasn't just been Hamilton flashing the leather...
Even with superb defense, though, a pitcher still needs some run support every now and then...
Don't worry, Ceej. It'll all work out.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Playoff Preview: Rangers vs. Rays
MLB's post-season begins on Wednesday, and over the course of the next couple days, Bottom of the Fourth will be previewing each of the four series' to be played. First up: the Texas Rangers square off against the Tampa Bay Rays, first pitch Wednesday at 1:30 PM ET.
The Tampa Bay Rays are a very different team than they were several years ago. Before 2008, teams trembled at the thought of playing in Tampa, as the Devil Rays' mastery of the water made them a formidable opponent. In the American League, only the Seattle Mariners stood a chance of beating the D-Rays at home, but even they are not water creatures, strictly speaking; they just have a little more experience asea than teams like the Detroit Tigers or Baltimore Orioles. The Florida Marlins and especially Pittsburgh Pirates had success against Tampa during this time, but being in the National League, rarely had the opportunity.
On the other hand, from the Devil Rays' inception in 1998 until 2007, Tampa Bay was an atrocious team on the road. Opposing teams, wishing to gain a competitive advantage, never provided tanks ample enough to house the Rays, and they ended up just flopping around, not doing much of anything, for the entirety of the two, three or four game series.
That all changed in 2008, when the Rays dropped the "Devil" from their name and changed their logo to a different kind of ray: a sunbeam. Now, the Rays are very hard to beat, whether at home or on the road; they're all around, always on the offensive, and when one gets stifled, it isn't long before his teammates poke their heads out so fast and from so many different directions it's impossible to stop them all at once.
The best defense against the new-look Rays is a broad, all-encompassing cloud cover. Unfortunately, Texas doesn't see too many of those, so the series will be a difficult one for the Arlington boys.
That isn't to say Texas doesn't have a prayer. Far from it, in fact. The Rangers have plenty of firepower of their own. Each one carries a Sig Sauer .357 at all times, and knows how to use it. The question of how to fire at a sunbeam is a tricky one, but Texas has figured out ways to do it all season long against equally tough opponents: Blue Jays, Twins, even Angels.
Look for Texas pitchers to blow blazing fastballs past Rays hitters. After all, how do you stop a speeding bullet? The Rays will try to throw Texas off their game with their multi-directional deception, but if the Rangers can maintain focus there isn't much that can stop them. Plus, Texas has a secret weapon, a hotshot prospect called up just two days ago in preparation for the post-season. Nobody knows exactly what he's capable of, because the hazy, third-hand stories floating up from the minor leagues range from fantastic to simply unbelievable. But if he's even half as good as they say, the Rays don't stand a chance.
The Tampa Bay Rays are a very different team than they were several years ago. Before 2008, teams trembled at the thought of playing in Tampa, as the Devil Rays' mastery of the water made them a formidable opponent. In the American League, only the Seattle Mariners stood a chance of beating the D-Rays at home, but even they are not water creatures, strictly speaking; they just have a little more experience asea than teams like the Detroit Tigers or Baltimore Orioles. The Florida Marlins and especially Pittsburgh Pirates had success against Tampa during this time, but being in the National League, rarely had the opportunity.
On the other hand, from the Devil Rays' inception in 1998 until 2007, Tampa Bay was an atrocious team on the road. Opposing teams, wishing to gain a competitive advantage, never provided tanks ample enough to house the Rays, and they ended up just flopping around, not doing much of anything, for the entirety of the two, three or four game series.
That all changed in 2008, when the Rays dropped the "Devil" from their name and changed their logo to a different kind of ray: a sunbeam. Now, the Rays are very hard to beat, whether at home or on the road; they're all around, always on the offensive, and when one gets stifled, it isn't long before his teammates poke their heads out so fast and from so many different directions it's impossible to stop them all at once.
The best defense against the new-look Rays is a broad, all-encompassing cloud cover. Unfortunately, Texas doesn't see too many of those, so the series will be a difficult one for the Arlington boys.
That isn't to say Texas doesn't have a prayer. Far from it, in fact. The Rangers have plenty of firepower of their own. Each one carries a Sig Sauer .357 at all times, and knows how to use it. The question of how to fire at a sunbeam is a tricky one, but Texas has figured out ways to do it all season long against equally tough opponents: Blue Jays, Twins, even Angels.
Look for Texas pitchers to blow blazing fastballs past Rays hitters. After all, how do you stop a speeding bullet? The Rays will try to throw Texas off their game with their multi-directional deception, but if the Rangers can maintain focus there isn't much that can stop them. Plus, Texas has a secret weapon, a hotshot prospect called up just two days ago in preparation for the post-season. Nobody knows exactly what he's capable of, because the hazy, third-hand stories floating up from the minor leagues range from fantastic to simply unbelievable. But if he's even half as good as they say, the Rays don't stand a chance.
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